The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. Recommended Reading This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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